Losing somebody you love can be incredibly painful and you may feel that once you have gone through the grieving process you have to ‘let go’ of them. The thought of this can keep you stuck in your grief as you feel you are betraying the loved one by letting go.
The truth is you don’t have to let go – of them, their memory, your sad feelings, any of that. Yes you can and should eventually move on with your life, but moving on with your life does not mean letting them go. Instead your loved one along with the grief you feel will always stay with you.
The grief will change over time and not be so raw and so painful as when you first lost them but it will always be there. To some that is a comfort as when they connect with that pain they also connect with their loved one. It’s bittersweet.
It may seem like torturing yourself when you listen to that song that reminds you of them and you feel that sharp pang in your heart, but once you feel it, it passes. It’s only when we hold on to feelings that they consume us and threaten to drag us under. As long as you are acknowledging and feeling your emotions, they will eventually pass. Counselling will support you through this process.